Luckiest Bastard

J. L. Perry

Luckiest Bastard

J. L. Perry

BOOKS BY J. L. PERRY

Destiny Series

My Destiny – Book 1

My Forever – Book 2

Damaged – Jacinta’s Story – Book 3

Against All Odds – Angel’s Story – Book 4

Standalone Reads

Bastard

Luckiest Bastard (Novella)

Hooker (Coming soon)

Jax (Coming soon)

Nineteen Letters (Coming soon)

A note from the author

Warning: this book contains sexual content, coarse language and some violence. It is recommended for persons over the age of 18.

This novella is dedicated to my readers.

You asked for more Carter, so here he is …

Table of Contents

Luckiest Bastard

Bonus story: First White Christmas

A sneak peek of Hooker

A sneak peek of Bastard

Chapter One

Two years later …

Carter

The past two years I’ve spent with my soulmate, and my boys … my family … no words. Indiana is the most amazing wife and mother any man could ask for. She’s my best friend, my world, my absolute everything.

Then there’s my two sons, Jaxson and Levi. They are, without a doubt, the most miraculous gift. Being a father is fucking incredible. I love my boys … my family, so hard.

My life was perfect. I was in a state of complete bliss. To be honest, it almost felt too good to be true. Sure we’d had more than our fair share of shit in the beginning, and if anyone deserved a break, it was us. That thought still didn’t seem to stop the foreboding that churned deep within me.

There was heartache looming around the corner, I could feel it. I worried for my wife. I guess that’s natural considering everything we went through with the tumour. Even though all her tests continue to come back negative, it’s something that will always be in the back of my mind. They were scary times.

Then something happened six weeks ago. All those inner fears I’d been fighting the past few months, came to a head. My worst nightmare. I was right about Indiana, but it had nothing to do with her cancer. We had a totally different fight on our hands.

It brought me to my fucking knees …

•

Four weeks before Indi was due to give birth to our daughter, Eve, is a day I won’t forget in a hurry. We named her after my grandmother, Evelyn. Like the other two pregnancies, everything was going great, until suddenly it wasn’t.

The moment Indiana came into my shop in the middle of the day to say things didn’t feel right with the baby, I panicked. “Something’s up, but I’m not sure what,” were her exact words. In my heart I knew she was right—it was those damn feelings I’d been having. Thankfully, I was already on edge, so I didn’t hesitate in getting her to the hospital.

Luckily, the boys were with our parents. They ended up moving to Newcastle a year ago. We used to try and get to Sydney as much as possible to visit, but for them the occasional trips weren’t enough. They felt like they were missing out on seeing Jaxson and Levi growing up, and all their milestones, so they sold up and moved here. My grandma joined them a few months later. She sold her unit and moved in with my parents.

They now look after the boys during the day while Indi and I are at work. It’s a win-win for all of us, I guess.

After arriving at the hospital, the nurse hooked Indi up to the monitors straight away. That’s when we were informed the baby was in distress. I can’t tell you what hearing those words did to me. They almost sent me over the edge. Little did I know, what was to come would be far worse. It was something I know will stick with me for the rest of my days.

I’m not sure I’ll ever completely get over the desperation and utter helplessness I felt in the hours that followed.

The doctor performed an ultrasound immediately, and found the umbilical cord was wrapped around Eve’s neck. Commence operation meltdown. The birth of both our boys had gone so smoothly—I was in no way prepared for this.

I watched on in horror as my wife was rushed into surgery, and my idyllic world, the one I simultaneously lived, loved and feared, started to crumble around me.

“Everything’s going to be okay, baby,” I whispered against her lips. I’m not sure if I was trying to convince her, or myself. “I love you … I love you both,” my voice cracked as I spoke. No matter how I was feeling inside, I needed to try and keep it together for Indi. My hand instinctively moved to her stomach as I said a silent prayer for Eve … and for my wife. All the time I was thinking, this can’t be fucking happening.

The look of desperation in Indi’s eyes as they wheeled her away will haunt me forever. For-fucking-ever. Both their lives were on the line here. The devastation and worry I felt for my girls consumed me.

The nurse guided me to a room where I could sit and await my fate. There would be no damn sitting. Just a lot of pacing. I was numb. I was devastated. I was on the verge of losing it. I’d never felt so completely helpless in my life.

I’m not sure how long I was alone in there, but eventually Ross turned up. I can’t tell you how relieved I was to see him. My mum stayed home with the boys. As much as I wanted them with me, this was no place for them right now.

“Dad,” I murmured when he walked through the door. I needed him. I couldn’t face this shit on my own. Not when it came to something as serious as this—my wife … my child. When he pulled me into his arms, I clung to him as though my life depended on it. I needed to draw from some of his strength, because the truth was, I was a fucking mess. The possibility of losing either one of them was unfathomable.

“Any news?” he asked.

I shook my head in reply. Stringing two words together, in that moment, was impossible.

I’m not sure how long we stayed in that room, but it seemed like a damn eternity. Eventually we were put out of our misery when the doctor finally came in to talk with us. The pure relief I felt when I was told both Indi and Eve had survived, and were doing well under the circumstances, was indescribable. Thank-fucking-Christ.

Unfortunately, we weren’t out of the woods yet. Eve was born four weeks premature. She was immediately admitted into the neonatal unit. The nurse led me in to see Indi first. She was understandably upset. She was still in recovery after the emergency caesarean. Indi urged me to leave her to be with our daughter. She hated how she was on her own. To be honest, so did I.

I didn’t like the idea of Indi being alone either, so I was grateful Ross stayed with his daughter while I was taken to see mine. Indiana was just as worried and upset about our little girl as I was.

Nothing has changed between us over the years. I still craved her comfort in that moment, just as much as she did mine. Together, we were unstoppable. She will always be my strength … my rock … my air.

I’ll admit, when I saw how tiny Eve was, I broke down. She was beautiful, but nothing like the healthy, chubby boys Indi had given birth to in the past. I felt an instant love for her nevertheless. If not more so for the predicament she was now facing. She looked so fragile. It tore at my heart. Seeing her like this set off a fiery protectiveness inside me for some reason. In that moment, I knew I was a goner. Like her mum, I’d never be able to deny her anything.

Nothing was ever going to happen to my little princess while she was on my watch. That you could be sure of.

I slid my hand through the opening in the humidicrib, gently placing my finger against the palm of her tiny hand. I needed some contact with her. Anything. I needed her to know she wasn’t alone. When her little fingers clenched around mine, tears clouded my eyes while love and admiration surged in my heart. She was a fighter like her mum. She was going to be okay. She just had to be.

“Daddy’s here, baby girl. Everything’s going to be alright,” I whispered in a reassuring voice. “I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise.”

Chapter Two

Carter

For the next few weeks, that was our life. One of us was always by Eve’s side. Indi did the days, and then would go home to be with the boys. I did the night shift. Neither of us wanted our little girl to ever feel alone. Fuck I missed sleeping next to my wife though. We’d never spent so much time apart. I was definitely having withdrawals.

Indiana would breastfeed Eve during the day, and express the milk into bottles for me to give her at night. We were lucky she was only four weeks premature; if she could get through the next few weeks, there was a minimal chance of any complications in the future. The main concern was her lungs and her weight. The nurse informed me it’s in the last month of pregnancy that a baby’s lungs fully form, and they gain their body fat. That explained why she was so tiny when I first saw her.

I was exhausted, but like Indi, I was prepared to do whatever it took to see our daughter get through this. I missed my boys, my wife, LJ and the life we had before the unfortunate circumstances we now faced, but she was here, and like her mum, she was a survivor. I took great comfort in that.

Indi and I would only get to see each other for half an hour or so during our shift changeovers, but we both knew as parents it was a short-term sacrifice we needed to make. Our little girl was worth it.

Eve was getting stronger with every passing day. It was now only a matter of time before we could take her home and get back everything we once had. A carefree happy life.

She was gaining weight daily, but she was still tiny. The boys are tall for their age. I can tell they’re going to have the same build as me when they’re older. Jaxson looks a lot like Indi, whereas Levi is the spitting image of me.

Eve, however, is the complete opposite. She’s going to be small and petite, just like Indiana. I know it. She even has her mum’s cute little button nose and full lips. She’s going to have me wrapped around her little finger just like Indiana does. I’ll be putty in her hands … I’m afraid I already am.

•

Two weeks later we got to bring her home from the hospital. It was a great day for the Reynolds family. My girl was healthy and exactly where she needed to be— with us. I was back in my home … my castle, with my wife, my three beautiful children, and of course LJ.

Jaxson and Levi adore their baby sister. Between the three of us boys, I know she’ll always be safe. That thought gives me a tremendous amount of comfort for some reason.

Fuck me. Eve was only two weeks old and I was already worrying about shit like that.

I should’ve been more than content with the five of us finally being together, but surprisingly I still had a dark cloud looming over me. It was this whole thing with Eve and the trauma surrounding her birth, I’m sure of it.

I guess I was still spooked.

•

Indiana

After lifting the covers back, Carter’s arms instinctively reach out, pulling me into his loving, protective embrace. God I missed him while we were apart. The last two weeks have been hell. With everything going on with Eve, being separated from Carter was the worst. He’s my happy place, my calm after the storm, my sanctuary. I’ve been struggling without him here.

He spent his days at work while I was at the hospital with our daughter, and the nights with Eve. I know it was hard for him being away from us, but he insisted that I be home with the boys at night, and in a real bed where I could get a good night’s sleep. Without him beside me though, that was impossible.

I love how he stepped up, like always. There is nothing he wouldn’t do for me … for our kids. We’re lucky to have him.

“I’ve missed this,” I whisper, resting my face on his chest as I snuggle into his side.

“Me too, baby. Me too,” is all he says as his arms tighten around me, drawing me even closer. When he kisses the top of my head, I lift my face to look at him. I need more than that, I need him. I know it’s only been two weeks since I gave birth to Eve, so we can’t go all the way, but I need some kind of connection with him. Anything. A kiss on the top of the head just won’t cut it.

He groans into my mouth when I place my lips over his. I love him so much. After all this time my feelings for him haven’t lessened at all. If anything they’ve only grown stronger. The troubled teen I met all those years ago, is no more.

A distant memory.

Carter, the man, is confident and comfortable within his own skin. He now knows he is worthy, because he is. He always has been. He’s proven himself over and over. He’s not only a great man, he’s a perfect husband, and a phenomenal father. I love seeing him with the kids. He’s so hands-on, and the love he has for them just radiates off him. It’s safe to say, like me, the boys adore him too.

It doesn’t take long for our kiss to heat up. We still can’t seem to get enough of each other. I don’t think the bond we have will ever dwindle. It’s a love like no other; strong and unbreakable, just like us.

My fingers skim over Carter’s naked, defined torso. His body is still as beautiful as ever. Utter perfection would be the best way to describe him. Sliding my hand down the front of his pyjama bottoms, I grasp his hard, impressive length in my hand. What I wouldn’t give for him to be inside me right now. We both struggled immensely with the abstaining for six weeks after the birth of our boys. This time will be no different.

Carter marked a calendar for my previous two pregnancies, crossing off each day as it passed. The second that six-week time period lapsed, he was on me like a dog on heat.

The more we make out, the more I want him, crave him. I start to work him over with my hand when I feel his body stiffen. “Don’t baby,” he suddenly mumbles against my lips as his hand covers mine, stilling me. What? I immediately pull out of the kiss and raise my head to make eye contact with him.

“Why did you stop me?” I ask, both shock and hurt lining my voice. He’s never done anything like this before. Only when I was sick, but I’m not sick anymore. He doesn’t answer me, but I see something in his eyes. I’m not sure what it is, but it instantly worries me. “Carter,” I plead as I await his reply. Still nothing. There’s no way I’m letting this go. I want to know what the hell is going on.

“Can we just go to sleep?” he eventually replies with a sigh. “It’s been weeks since I’ve slept in a real bed.”

I suppose that’s true. He spent the last two weeks sleeping on a reclining sofa at the hospital whilst caring for Eve, but I have a sinking feeling there’s more to this. I continue to stare at him as I wait for him to elaborate, but he never does. Instead, he pulls my hand out of his pyjama bottoms, and places it on his chest before closing his eyes. “Goodnight,” he whispers.

What the ever-loving fuck? I go from turned on to pissed off in less than a second. He’s damn lucky my hand is no longer clamped around his manhood, that’s all I can say.

Chapter Three

Carter

I feel like a total prick when Indiana rolls over in a huff and exhales an exasperated breath. I can’t even explain what just happened, because the truth is, I have no fucking clue. All I know is the minute she latched onto my cock and started to stroke me, sheer panic ran through me. Maybe it’s because of the guilt at what I’ve gone and done behind her back. I’m pretty sure that’s what it is. I’ve fucked up. In my heart I know it.

Before all the dramas surrounding Eve’s birth, I wanted a heap of kids. A whole football team. Not anymore. Not now that I know the risks that can come with it. I don’t want my wife, my child, or myself, to ever go through anything like that again. I can’t risk it. I just can’t. I wouldn’t survive it.

What worries me the most though, is losing Indiana. They say things come in waves of three. I nearly lost her to the tumour, then again giving birth to Eve. The logical side of me needed to do something to eliminate that number three. I’m not sure if I could go on without her. She’s my air.

Rolling onto my side, I pull her body against mine. Her back is now flush with my front. “I love you,” is all I say as I place a kiss on her hair. She doesn’t answer or snuggle in closer like she usually does, so I tighten my grip. I hate how I’ve upset her. Hurting her is the last thing I ever want to do.

She has every right to be angry with me, even more so when I finally pluck up the courage to confess what I’ve done. My only hope is that she can forgive me for not discussing it with her first. Truth is, I couldn’t. Once I made up my mind, I had to go through with my plans. I couldn’t give her the opportunity to talk me out of it, because she probably would have.

“I love you, too,” she finally replies, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

Please let her understand the reasons behind the choices I’ve made.

•

Indiana

As the next few weeks pass, I notice Carter withdraw further and further into himself. He tries to hide it, but I know him better than he thinks. Something is going on inside that gorgeous head of his, and I need to find out what.

He puts on a smile and goes about life as normal, but when he doesn’t realise I’m watching him, I can see the torment on his face. It breaks my heart. We need to sit down and have a good talk, but things have been crazy around here. Trying to look after a newborn and two active boys, as well as overseeing things at the veterinarian clinic, is hard work. I’m exhausted.

Carter helps out when he can, but he’s been pretty flat out too. Not only does he have his own shop to contend with, but he and Jax have finally got the tattoo parlour franchise up and running. They have over thirty stores now, state-wide. Next week they’re flying up to Queensland to check out some new sites so they can expand their business interstate. They’re hoping to be spread all over Australia within the next year.

I’m so proud of everything he has accomplished. Maybe it’s just the stress of the business that’s taking its toll on him, maybe it’s something else. My gut tells me it’s the latter. Things have been weird between us.

Sure he still loves me, I can see that, but since the birth of Eve, things aren’t the same. He’s somewhat reserved and distant. I haven’t tried to make a move on him since that night he stopped me. Believe me, I want to. I want to so much, I’m aching inside. I ache for him, for that connection we once shared. I’m scared though. I’m scared of being rejected again.

What worries me the most is that damn calendar hanging on the fridge. Not one marking. I look at it every day hoping to see that familiar red cross he used to put on the date as we counted down the six weeks until we could have each other again, but nothing, zero, zip. Every morning when I check, I have to fight back the tears. What is happening to us? Why have things suddenly changed?

•

Carter

Our parents are looking after the kids while Indi drops me off at the airport. I hate that I’m going to Queensland without them. I’m so fucking torn. Jax and I are partners, so this is something we need to do together, but leaving my family alone for three days doesn’t sit well with me at all.

It wasn’t feasible to drag them with me, and I know our parents will help Indi while I’m gone, but being apart from them is going to kill me. It’s only three days I keep telling myself. Who am I kidding? Three days away from my other half and my kids is going to feel like a damn eternity.

Jax and I are going to be on the road for most of the time, scoping out new sites for the franchises. Plus Jax has set up a few meetings with potential clients, as well as a few building companies so we can start the renovations once we’ve secured the locations. All our shops have identical interiors and shop fronts to keep with the branding. We’re very fussy about the kind of people we want owning our franchises. It’s our reputation that’s on the line if we put in someone who’s not suitable, someone who won’t work to our high standards.

Indi doesn’t say much on the drive to the airport. It’s unusual for her. It worries me. I hate this damn cloud that’s hovering over us. The longer I keep my secret, the harder I’m finding it to come clean. I’m worried what her reaction is going to be. I’m petrified that she won’t understand, or worse, won’t be able to forgive me.

“Are you okay, babe?” I ask, reaching over the centre console to grasp her hand. We’re in the Monaro. We don’t get to drive this much now with the kids. I’d never sell it though. I love this fucking car.

“I’m fine,” she replies, turning her face towards me and forcing out a smile. I know she’s not fine, but I don’t call her out on it. Instead, I tighten my grip on her hand. I hate how what I’ve done is coming between us. I need to man up and tell her, but not now. It will have to wait until I get back. The sooner I come clean, the sooner we can move past it and get back to where we were. I fucking miss her.

We only have one more week to go before the six weeks is up. I need to get this shit sorted so I can be with my wife again. I fucking crave her. I always will.

We finally reach the airport and I pull the car into the drop-off bay, switching off the ignition. I want to spend a few more minutes with my girl. My plane doesn’t leave for another hour. I’m flying out from Newcastle Airport, at Williamtown. It didn’t make sense to drive all the way down to Sydney when we have an airport right here. Jax is still living in Sydney, so he flew out earlier today.

After removing my seatbelt, I turn to face Indi. Christ she’s beautiful. She still takes my breath away after all this time. “I’m gonna miss you,” I say, reaching out to stroke my hand down the side of her face. My stomach drops when I see tears well in her stunning green eyes.

“Are you going to miss me?” she asks, tilting her face down. The sadness and uncertainty I hear in her voice breaks my heart. When I see a tear fall from her eye and land on her jeans, a lump rises to my throat. I fucking hate myself for upsetting her. This whole mess is my fault.

“Hey,” I say, placing my hand under her chin and raising her head. “Of course I’m going to miss you. I love you, Indiana.” When I see another tear fall, I pull her into my arms.

“What’s happening to us, Carter?” she cries into my chest.

Nothing. Nothing’s happening to us. I did something stupid, but it doesn’t change how I feel about her. My love for her will never die. Can’t she see that? I’m just scared. I’m scared to tell her the truth, because I’m not sure how she’s going to take it. I don’t want to disappoint her. I’d fucking hate it if she thought less of me because of what I’ve done.

“Why would you ask that?” Even though I already know the answer. I hold her close as I await her reply.

“Something’s going on between us. You’re pulling away from me. Please talk to me. I don’t want to lose you.”

Fuck. This is worse than I thought.

Pulling back, I cup her pretty face in my hands. “You’re never going to lose me, Indi. Fucking never. Please don’t ever think that.”

“Well talk to me. Tell me what’s going on, and don’t you dare say nothing.” I can’t hold back the smile when she narrows her eyes at me. I’ll never tire of her spunk.

Everything in me wants to confess right now, but it’s not the time. I can’t drop a bombshell on her like this, then walk away and get on a plane.

“Can we talk when I get back? I don’t want to do this now. Not when I’m about to leave you for three days.”

“But—” I cut her off by placing my finger over her lips.

“Please. Now’s not the time for this. See if our parents will take the kids for the night when I get back. We can go out. Just like old times. Just the two of us. We need some alone time, Indi.”

“I’d like that,” she says, a small smile playing on her lips.

“I’d like that too. As much as I love our kids, I miss you. I miss what we had before we became parents.” What I miss more than anything, is our marathon sex sessions. Now all we seem to manage is a quickie when the kids aren’t around, or when they’re asleep. If I’m not sneaking into her work during the day between clients, she’s sneaking into mine. Most days we spend our lunch breaks upstairs in the apartment, screwing each other’s brains out.

“Me too,” she says as her hand rises and skims over my hair. I pull her towards me, covering her mouth with mine. It’s been weeks since I’ve kissed her like this. Sure I still kiss her, but it’s more like a lingering peck, nothing hot and heavy. It’s the guilt, I’m consumed by it.

She moans into my mouth as her hands clench in my shirt and she pulls me closer. I feel my cock going hard. Shit. What I wouldn’t give to be buried inside her heavenly pussy right now. I’m craving her. It’s all I’ve been thinking about for weeks.

I haven’t been marking it on the calendar at home because I’ve been feeling guilty about what I’ve done, but you can be sure as hell I’ve been keeping track of the days on my phone. I can’t wait to have her again, but I need to confess first.

We make out for a few more minutes before I reluctantly pull out of the kiss and rest my forehead against hers. We’re both a little breathless. “Three days. How am I going to survive three fucking days without you?” I whisper.

“I miss you already,” she admits, making me smile.

“I miss you, too. Come with me. Call our parents and see if they’ll watch the kids for the next three days.”

“I can’t. I’m still breastfeeding Eve, remember?”

“Fuck.”

“You’d better get going. You’ll miss your flight.”

“Are you trying to get rid of me now?” I ask with a chuckle.

“Never. The quicker you leave, the quicker you’ll be home again.”

•

I have a heavy heart when the plane touches down in Queensland. I thought about Indi all the way here. I hate how I made her cry earlier. I hate that she’s having uncertainties about us. I’m also worried about how I’m going to break the news to her when I get home. I pray she doesn’t take it as bad as I think she’s going to.

After stowing my suitcase in my room, I head towards Jax’s suite. I texted him before I got on the plane. We organised to go out for dinner tonight. We’re staying on the same hotel floor, but in different rooms. That fucker snores like a damn freight train. I wasn’t gonna put up with that shit for three days. No fucking way. I’m already sleep deprived because we have a newborn.

“Hey cocksucker,” I say when he opens the door. I’m taken aback by the look on his face. He looks like he’s been caught out. What’s he up to?

“What?” he replies when I narrow my eyes at him. I don’t explain. Instead, I push him aside and enter his room. There’s something going on here I know it. When I hear the shower running, the pennies drop. That fucker has someone here with him.

“You’ve been here, what … two hours,” I say looking down at my watch and shaking my head, “and you’ve already picked up?”

He chuckles at my observation. “No, dipshit. I actually brought someone with me.”

“You did not,” I scoff, because I don’t believe that for a second. That’s not Jax’s style. He’s a manwhore. He hasn’t had a girlfriend for as long as I’ve known him.

“I fucking did, cock,” he retorts, reaching out to punch me in the arm.

“Who?” His smug expression changes when I question him, and it puzzles me. “Fuck. You have a girlfriend?” I ask in disbelief when he doesn’t say anything else. My suspicions only rise when he doesn’t deny it, but instead rubs the back of his neck nervously and diverts his eyes. I’m still calling bullshit on this one. That, or hell has frozen over.

“Carter,” I hear a female voice say from behind me. I turn around and the first thing I see is bright pink hair. Holy fuck, Candice. She’s standing just inside the bathroom door, wrapped in only a towel. Well I’ll be fucking damned. When the hell did this happen?

Chapter Four

Carter

The next three days seem like the longest of my fucking life. As busy as Jax and I were, my family was on my mind constantly. It was killing me being away from them. Indi and the boys would FaceTime me every morning and night, but it wasn’t enough. All I wanted to do was get home.

I couldn’t contain my excitement when the plane finally touched down in Newcastle. Words can’t describe how fucking happy I was to find Indiana and the kids waiting for me in the baggage claim area. Jaxson and Levi immediately came running towards me as soon as they saw me. I pulled them both into my arms and swung them around, causing them to laugh.

“Daddy,” they both squealed with excitement. I’d missed my boys so much.

“I’ve missed you, Daddy,” Jaxson says as his grip around my neck tightens. Although he looks like his mum, he has my personality. He’s deep, and super sensitive.

“I’ve missed you too, champ,” I reply as I ruffle his hair.

“I love you,” he adds, bringing a smile to my face.

“I love you too, buddy.”

“Did you bring us back a present?” Levi chimes in, making me chuckle. He does a little fist pump when I nod my head. See how different the boys are? Levi is so easy going, and a real momma’s boy. He follows her everywhere.

After kissing them both, I place them on the floor and set my sights on my girls. My heart starts to race when Indiana’s eyes lock with mine. She’s pushing Eve in the pram as she makes her way towards us. The moment she’s in front of me, I drop my carry-on bag to the ground and pull her into my arms.

“I’ve missed you so much,” I whisper into her hair as I squeeze her tight. Her familiar flowery scent has an immediate calming effect on me.

“I’ve missed you too, Carter. I’m so glad you’re home.” Pulling back, I cup her pretty face in my hands before placing my lips on hers. I’ve being dying to do this from the moment I left her at the airport three days ago.

Of course I don’t kiss her like I want to. I don’t give a shit that we’re in a public place, but the boys are watching us. I can’t wait to get her alone. The kids are staying with our parents tonight, but I needed to see them first. That’s why Indi brought them with her to the airport.

When I finally let my wife go, I pull the top back on the pram so I can see my baby girl. She’s sound asleep, but I need to hold her. Removing the blanket that covers her, I gently lift her into my arms, careful not to wake her. She looks so sweet all dressed in pink. I feel my lips curve into a smile as I hug her to my chest and look down at her angelic face. It’s only been three days, but I swear she’s grown.

•

Indiana

Now that Carter’s home, I feel whole again. While he was away, I missed him like you wouldn’t believe. Things just don’t seem the same when he’s not around. It’s like a piece of me is missing.

After we drop the kids at our parents’, we head back home. It’s going to feel weird not having them with us tonight, but I’m looking forward to some alone time with my husband. I’m also apprehensive. I know we’re going to have our talk, and I’m a little concerned to hear what he has to say.

“Do you mind if we head to the Surfhouse first?” he asks, reaching across the seat and grabbing hold of my hand. “I made an early reservation for 5:30 pm. The sooner we eat, the sooner I can get you home,” he adds with a wink. I love that he thought ahead and made reservations at our restaurant. It will always be our special place, since it was where we got married.

“It hasn’t been six weeks yet,” I remind him.

“I know, it’s been 5 weeks and 4 days, but I called the doctor from the hotel this morning, and he said as long as we don’t overdo it, you’ll be fine.” I’m shocked that he called the doctor, but I’m even more surprised he knows how many days it’s been.

“You’ve been counting? … But the calendar … ”

“I’ve been keeping track on my phone,” he says with a smirk. I can’t tell you how happy that makes me feel.

Carter takes my hand and laces our fingers together when we exit the car at the restaurant. “We’re still going to have that talk tonight, aren’t we?” I ask once the waiter seats us at the table. The mood changes as soon as the words are out of my mouth. As much as I’m dreading this, whatever it is, we need to get it out in the open.

Carter exhales before replying. “Let’s eat first. We can talk later,” is all he says, picking up the menu. Why is he stalling? What is he keeping from me?

•

Carter

By the time our food arrives, I’ve lost my appetite. Why did she have to bring this up now? I’ve been dreading this damn talk all day, well for the past five weeks actually. I need to get it off my chest though so we can work past it. I’m worried how she’s going to take the news. I’m pretty sure, not well.

On the drive home, she brings it up again. Fuck. It’s now or never, I guess. I was kind of hoping to make love to her first. That’s pretty shitty I know, but it’s been over five fucking weeks since I’ve had her. She may not want to come near me after she hears what I have to say.

When we pull up outside the apartment, she doesn’t budge. “Can we go upstairs and talk?”

“No,” she replies, folding her arms across her chest. “I’m not leaving this car until you tell me what the hell is going on. I’ve waited long enough.” Here we go with the attitude. As if I’m not already turned on enough. Her sass gets me every time. I exhale when I realise she’s not going to give in. Fuck she’s stubborn.

“Fine.” I pause while I try to think of the right words. Truthfully, there aren’t any. I’ve thought about this a lot over the past five weeks. A-fucking-lot. I guess I need to just tell it like it is. “When Eve was in the hospital I had a vasectomy.” There, I said it. Christ I’m a gutless prick. I can’t even bring myself to look at her.

I continue to stare straight ahead, waiting for her reply, or for her to backhand me … anything. All I get is silence. Silence isn’t good. Not when it comes to Indiana. I want her to let me have it. I deserve it. I can’t live with the guilt anymore.

The longer it takes to get a reaction, the more worried I become. It seems like an eternity passes when, in reality, it’s probably only a minute or so. “Say something, babe,” I eventually blurt out. When she still doesn’t reply, I pluck up the courage to finally look her way.

Her head is facing forward, but I can clearly see she’s pissed. Fuck. She has every right to be. I’m now regretting my decision even more. I should’ve talked to her before going ahead with it. At the very least, I should’ve come clean sooner. I’m such a selfish prick sometimes.

•

Indiana

I can’t even find the words to respond to him. I am beyond hurt … beyond angry. I can’t believe he’s gone and made such a huge decision without talking to me first.

“Indi, please talk to me,” Carter pleads. He’s got to be fucking kidding me. He wants me to talk to him? I’ve been practically begging him for weeks to open up to me. Fuck him. It’s a little late for words now. Words aren’t going to change things, the deed has already been done.

I need to get out of this car before I either cry, or physically hurt him. How could he do this to me, to us, to our family? I need some time to process this information. No, what I need to do is scream, or hit something. Anything to release this inferno that is now raging inside me.

I reach for the door handle and exit the car. “Indi,” Carter calls out, but I ignore him. I can’t even go up to our apartment, so I turn in the other direction and head towards the beach. I need space. I’m not even halfway across the road when Carter’s fingers wrap around my arm, pulling me to a stop. “Don’t run from me. Please, Indi. Talk to me. Scream at me. Anything.”

I angrily tug my arm out of his grip before turning to face him. My temper has now reached boiling point. “Talk,” I scream as I push on his chest with all my might. “Fucking talk. It’s a little late for that, Carter, don’t you think? I thought this marriage was a partnership. Shouldn’t I have some say in whether we have more children?” I shove him again. The tears are falling freely now. I can no longer hold them in. If he hadn’t just confessed to having a vasectomy, I’d be going ninja on his nuts right now.

To be honest, after what happened with Eve, I’m not sure if I could do it again. But now I don’t even have a choice. He stole that from me. Motherfucker.

•

Carter

This whole situation is fucked up. The delusional part of me actually thought she wouldn’t react as bad as she did. I did say the delusional part. The common sense part of me though, knew she would be angry. What have I done?

She turns to flee so I reach for her again, pulling her back against me. She’s not getting away from me until we hash this out. I wrap my arms around her waist, holding her back firmly against my chest. “Please hear me out, babe. Please,” I beg. I’m not sure if my explanation is going to cut it, but I need to do something to fix this.

“There’s nothing you can say that will make this better, Carter,” she confesses, before placing her hands over her face, sobbing.

I hate myself right now.

Chapter Five

Indiana

The last time I shed this many tears was the day Carter left me behind when we were teenagers. I never thought a day would come that he would make me feel so broken again.

I’m sure he had his reasons for doing what he did, nevertheless, I can’t help but feel betrayed and devastated by what he’s done. I will the tears to stop, but they don’t. I wish this wasn’t happening, but it is.

Carter continues to hold me tightly from behind, all the while whispering, “I’m sorry … I’m so sorry,” in my ear as he strokes my hair. It’s comforting and annoying all at the same time. That’s because I’m pissed with him.

If only he’d come to me first. We could’ve discussed this. We could’ve made a decision as a couple. That’s why I’m so upset. The fact that he felt so little of our union—of me. I thought we were a team. That’s how it’s always been, until now.

Then the faces of my three beautiful children enter my mind, and the sobs start again. Never again will I feel a life grow inside me. Never again will I experience the pure joy of meeting my child for the first time. The pain of childbirth, now that is something I can definitely do without. The thought of never experiencing the rest though, breaks my heart even further.

Carter turns me in his arms, hugging me tight to his chest. Part of me wants to push him away, but the other part needs his comfort. He’s my rock. The one who always picks up the pieces. I’ll always need him, love him, no matter what. That will never change. I’m just incredibly hurt by his decision right now.

“Can we go upstairs and talk?” he asks. I can hear the apprehension in his voice. I’m not sure why I feel bad for him, but I do. He brought this on himself.

I shrug my shoulders in reply. It’s the best I’ve got. I don’t want to listen to his explanation, but I need to hear his reasons for doing something so incredibly selfish and irresponsible. On the other hand though, it’s plain to see how much he adores his children, so I’m sure this wasn’t a decision he took lightly.

Turning and tucking me under his arm, he leads me across the street. I know in time I’ll probably be able to get past this, but not right now. It’s too fresh.

When we enter the apartment, he seats me on the sofa before kneeling down in front of me. I bow my head. I can’t bring myself to look him in the eye at this moment. I know it’ll break me.

“I’m sorry, Indi,” he says, stroking his hand gently over my hair before placing a soft kiss in its place. “I honestly thought I was doing the right thing. I couldn’t chance losing you again.” Hearing the desperation in his voice makes the tears rise to my eyes again. I can understand his way of thinking and I appreciate the sentiment behind his words, but it still doesn’t justify the way he went about it. “Please say something.”

I have plenty to say, but the words don’t seem to come. “Just give me some time, Carter. I need to process all of this.” I go to stand, but he grabs my arm.

“Please don’t walk away from me. I thought I was doing the right thing for all of us. The kids and I would be nothing without you. When I spoke with the doctor at the hospital, we had two options: you getting your tubes tied, or me getting the snip. There was no way I was going to let you go through another procedure.” My heart melts when he says that. I love how he cares for me, but there’s more to this, a hell of a lot more. I’ve been deceived by the person I trusted the most.

Finally I make eye contact with him. The devastation I see on his face breaks my heart, but that’s exactly how I feel, broken. Fucking heartbroken. “It’s not necessarily what you did, Carter, it’s more the way you went about it.” With that I stand. I need some space. I need to wrap my head around this bullshit. “Just give me some time to digest this revelation of yours.” I’m sure the venom in my voice doesn’t go unnoticed.

This time he lets me walk away, but I hear him sigh as I do. I hate that I’m upsetting him, but what did he expect … that I’d be thrilled? Ummm, no.

I make my way into our bedroom. My head is pounding. I need to shower and lie down. When I open the top drawer of my dresser, tears rise to my eyes again. Sitting on top is the sexy lingerie I bought for tonight. I purchased it while he was away because I knew he’d love it. So much for our alone time. So much for our hot and heavy sex romp. I had such high hopes for tonight, but now, thanks to my butthead of a husband, it’s all ruined.

I leave the lingerie where it is and grab a pair of pyjamas instead. Slamming the drawer shut, I head into the bathroom and lock the door behind me.

•

Carter

I can’t bear to see her like this. It’s fucking killing me. I wait a minute or so before I follow her into the bedroom. We rarely fight, so I can’t stand the fact she’s angry at me. Granted I deserve it, but I still don’t like it. I pray she can forgive me. I did this because I didn’t want to lose her. Now that very reason might backfire in my face.

When I hear the shower running, I have to control the urge to go in there. She said she needed time, so I guess I need to give it to her. It’s the least I can do, I suppose. Stripping out of my clothes, I pull my pyjama bottoms on before climbing into bed to wait.

It’s a good thirty minutes before Indiana exits the bathroom. She never takes that long. I guess she was stalling to avoid facing me. I fucking hate that. I smile at her when she approaches, but unfortunately it’s not reciprocated. I lift the blankets for her when she’s standing beside the bed, so she can climb in, but I’m taken aback when she snatches the pillow from her side and turns abruptly, leaving the room.

Fuck. I’m in deep shit.

I toss and turn for hours waiting for her to return, but logic tells me that’s not going to happen. She must be sleeping in one of the boys’ beds. Eventually I get tired of waiting, so I toss the blankets aside and go searching for her. She can ignore me all she wants, but regardless of whether she’s talking to me or not, she belongs in our bed beside me. Period.

I find her curled up in Levi’s bed. My lips curve up as I stand there for a few minutes watching her sleep. Her beauty still overwhelms me. Bending over, I pull back the blankets before scooping her into my arms.

“Carter,” she murmurs as her eyes flutter open.

“Shhh, baby,” I whisper, drawing her close to my chest. I smile to myself when she snuggles into me. In her sleepy haze, she’s obviously forgotten she’s not talking to me. After gently laying her down in our bed, I climb in beside her so we’re facing each other. My hand skims lightly over her hair, tucking it behind her ear. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she mumbles back. I smile when she says that, even if she is half asleep and unaware she’s angry with me. Then one of her eyes opens. “I’m still pissed with you though.” Her statement makes me chuckle. I know it’s not funny, but I’m fucking relieved she’s actually aware and still loves me regardless.

“I’ll call the doctor tomorrow and make an appointment. I can have the vasectomy reversed,” I inform her. Even though it’s not what I want, I’d do anything to make us okay again.

“No you won’t,” she replies opening her eyes. “But know this, you have a lot of grovelling ahead of you to make up for what you’ve done.” I can’t fight the smile that spreads across my face. I’ll grovel for the rest of my fucking life if it means we’re going to be okay.

I pull her body flush with mine. Having her so close makes my cock twitch. I need her so bad. Especially after everything that has happened tonight. I need confirmation we’re going to be okay. I need to connect with her again. Become one. It’s been far too long.

“Can I start grovelling now?” I ask, leaning forward and nipping at her bottom lip. I can tell she’s trying to suppress her smile. Placing my hand behind her knee, I lift her leg and drape it over my hip. When she doesn’t protest, I thrust my pelvis forward so my growing cock rubs against her. She lets out a moan just as my lips capture hers.

Chapter Six

Indiana

I did a lot of thinking when I was in the shower, and again as I lay in Levi’s bed afterwards. It was torture being separated from Carter. The three days he was away had me pining for him. I was giddy with excitement from the moment I opened my eyes this morning, knowing he was returning today and we’d be together again. Is it crazy that I feel like a piece of me is missing when we’re apart? Because that’s exactly how I feel.

It was hard for me to take the pillow and walk out of our room. The look on his face almost had me caving, but the mistake he’s made is colossal. He needed to learn a lesson from it, and this was the only way I knew how. He can’t make huge decisions like that without me, no matter what the logic is behind it.

As soon as his lips are on mine, every ounce of fight left in me dissolves. I need this. We need this. Despite everything, I love him. Sure I’m still hurt, still pissed, but you can be sure that I won’t be letting this go for a very long time.

The thing is, when you’ve been through everything I have, you know how precious life is, and how quickly it can be taken away. Sometimes you need to put the anger and hurt aside and live every minute to the fullest, and love with everything you have, because none of us know what tomorrow will bring.

Life is short.

My fingers fist in Carter’s hair, pulling him closer when he deepens the kiss. My body trembles with anticipation. I know this is going to be explosive. Not just because of the weeks of abstaining, but because it’s make-up sex. We rarely argue, so we don’t get to experience make-up sex often. And this time he has a shitload of making up to do.

Bring it on, Mr Reynolds. Bring. It. On!

•

Carter

I’m not sure how long I’m going to last first time round. It’s been too long. I hope my wife isn’t tired because I have the rest of the night to get reacquainted with her luscious body, and that’s exactly what I plan to do. With three small children, who knows when we’ll get an opportunity like this again?

She moans into my mouth when I slide my hand underneath her pyjama top and palm her breast. I love how big her tits get when she’s breastfeeding. Indi latches onto my rock hard cock through my pants, and unlike last time, there’s no guilt. I’m so glad my secret is out in the open. It’s such a weight off my shoulders. Rest assured, I won’t stop until I’ve made this up to her. That you can be fucking sure of.

As soon as she starts to work me over, I slide my hand down the front of her pants. I’m desperate to be inside her again. I groan when I find her wet and ready for me. It only takes me a few seconds to rid her of her pyjamas before removing my own. She smiles up at me when I settle over the top of her. It’s a sight, I can tell you. Only a few hours ago, I was worried she’d never smile at me again. A calmness spreads through me. I know I fucked up, but in this moment I also know we’re going to be okay.

Settling between her legs, I line myself up with her opening. I suppose the one up-side to the vasectomy is that we no longer have to worry about protection. Thank Christ the tests came back saying I have no swimmers left. Fuck I’ve missed seeing, touching and tasting her magnificent pussy. The tasting will have to come later. Right now I need to be inside her more than I need air.

As soon as the tip of my dick enters her, I throw my head back and groan. She feels amazing. I’ll never tire of this feeling. Never. Reaching up, she threads her fingers through my hair. I look down at her and smile. My eyes roll back in my head as I slide all the way in.

“Fuck I love you, Indiana. I’m so sorry for hurting you.” My eyes lock with hers as I brush her hair back off her forehead with my fingertips. A lump rises to my throat as I speak. “I promise I’ll never make a decision like that again without discussing it with you first.”

“You better believe you won’t,” she sneers, and the threat in her voice is apparent. She doesn’t have to worry about that. I’ve learnt my lesson. Fuck have I learnt my lesson. She pulls my face down towards her. “I love you too,” she says as her legs wrap around my waist. “Enough talking. I need you, Carter.”

I fucking need her too. I always will. We moan in unison when I pull back and push all the way in again. I’m home. Just where I belong.

Fucking home.

Chapter Seven

One year later …

Carter

Today I’m filled with mixed emotions. My little champ, Jaxson, is starting his first day of big school, and my baby girl, Eve, turns one. She has come along in leaps and bounds since the uncertainties she faced at birth. She’s Daddy’s little girl, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I adore her.

Jaxson seems excited to start school, and is up earlier than usual this morning. He insists that Indi dress him in his school uniform straight away. It makes me laugh. He looks so grown up, and I’m not sure how I feel about that. Indiana and I have both come to terms with the fact there’ll be no more kids for us, yet it’s moments like today that have me second-guessing my decision. But I have the perfect little family. I couldn’t ask for more than that.

When it’s time to leave, we pack the kids and LJ into the car. He’s part of the family too, so it wouldn’t be right not to bring him with us. He adores the kids. He has such a strong bond with them. He sleeps in his doggie bed on the floor of the boys’ bedroom, but I remember when we brought Eve home from the hospital, he spent the next few weeks lying next to her crib.

It worried me for some reason. Maybe because when Indi was sick he stuck to her like glue. It made me wonder if he could sense that something was wrong with Eve. I was relieved when he moved back into the boys’ room a few weeks later. I felt like I could breathe easy again. Thankfully, all those worries were for nothing. She’s healthy and happy, with no side effects from the troubles she faced at birth.

I have butterflies in my stomach when we arrive at the school. Jaxson seems okay, but I can’t help wondering how he’ll go when it’s time for us to leave. He’s such a sensitive kid. My parents and grandmother are here as well; it’s another milestone for the next generation of the Reynolds family, so they didn’t want to miss it. I love how my kids are surrounded by so much love.

When the teacher tells the children it’s time to go to the classroom, Jaxson moves along the line kissing us all goodbye. Eve is in my arms where she always seems to be. When he reaches us, he no longer looks so sure of himself.

I crouch down so he can kiss his sister. “Are you sure you’re okay, buddy?” I ask when his bottom lip starts to quiver. He doesn’t reply, but instead shakes his head. I knew it. I grab his small hand in mine, and walk with him towards the rest of the class. “We’ll be back to pick you up this afternoon,” I assure him when I’m standing next to his teacher. “We’re going to have a party when you get home, to celebrate Eve’s birthday and your first day of big school.”

When the teacher reaches for his hand, he latches onto my leg and the crying starts. “Don’t leave me, Daddy,” he begs. Fuck. I see some of the other parents turn and walk away from their children. I can’t do that. I just can’t. It would kill me to walk away from him when he’s so upset.

Jaxson’s teacher tries to pry him off my leg, but it only makes him hysterical. Jesus Christ. She kneels down in front of him, so they’re at eye level. “Would you like it if your father came and sat in the classroom for a while, Jaxson?” she offers in a sweet voice before making eye contact with me. I nod my head. I have a shitload of work to do this morning, but if it’s going to soothe him then I’m all for it.

My family will always come first.

I call Indi over, passing her Eve. “Dadda,” she cries, her chubby little arms reaching out for me. Fucking hell. My kids will be the death of me, I’m sure of it.

“Daddy will be home soon, Princess,” I tell her, kissing her sweet cheek. The tears pooling in her big, green eyes tug at my heart. I know she’ll be okay though. She has the rest of the family with her. Poor Jaxson will be left on his own if I don’t stay. “I’m gonna hang here for a while,” I say, turning my attention back to Indiana. “The teacher said I can sit in the classroom until Jaxson settles in.”

Indi smiles as her hand reaches up to stroke my face. “You’re amazing,” is all she says, getting up on the tip of her toes to plant a soft kiss on my lips. “Call me when you’re ready and I’ll come back and pick you up.”

•

Both Jaxson and I survived the first day. I stayed for the better part of the morning, but once he’d made a few friends, he settled in fast. He was all smiles when I picked him up in the afternoon and didn’t stop talking about his day all the way home. He even said he was excited to go back tomorrow, which is a good thing.

Our parents, my grandmother, Megan, Drew and their two girls, Isabella and Jasmine, are here to help celebrate Eve’s first birthday. A day I wasn’t sure we’d ever see in the beginning, but I’m so fucking glad we did. Jax and Candice are on their way up here now. I’m still freaked out about those two, but they’re perfect for each other. I couldn’t be happier for them.

Leaning down, I place a kiss on Eve’s head. Indi has put Eve’s dark hair up into two piggy tails. She looks adorable. I’m so in love with her. She’s her mum all over. I’m not sure if I could love her any more if I tried. She’s sweetness right to the bone, just like Indi.

Something about her unravels me. I’m not even sure why. Maybe it’s because she’s my baby girl, or because of everything she went through at birth. I can’t really say. Maybe it’s a combination of both. She already has a tight grip on my heart. I know that will only tighten as the years follow.

Eve is sitting on my lap watching the other four kids running around and playing with LJ. I tried to get her to join in, but she was happy to stay with me. My little shadow, Indi calls her. The boys get on really well with Megan’s girls. They’re kind of like cousins I suppose. We’re always together.

Indi and Megan come out of the kitchen laughing, both holding a glass of wine in their hands. I love seeing Indi happy like this. As she passes I wrap my arm around her waist, pulling her down onto my other knee before planting a kiss on her cheek.

“I love you,” I whisper in her ear.

“I love you too.” My eyes move around the room. My mum is sitting on my dad’s lap, laughing at something he said. My grandmother is smiling as she watches the kids playing. Everyone seems so content, so happy, and that makes me happy. I have a perfect life. The perfect family. My heart is so full.

I’m the luckiest BASTARD in the world.

Bonus Story

First White Christmas …

Carter

The second I’m finished with my last client and all my shit’s cleaned and packed away, I’m out the side door of the tattoo parlour, taking the steps that lead to my apartment two at a time. This is without a doubt, my favourite time of the day. Nothing beats the feeling I get when I’m with my family.

“I’m home,” I say when I walk through the front door. Nothing. Everything’s so quiet. Did I walk into the right house? Usually I have my three little munchkins hanging off me before I even get a chance to remove my shoes. “Indiana.”

“We’re in the bathroom,” she calls back. She must be bathing the kids.

“Daddy,” they all squeal as soon as I enter the room. The love I see reflected on the sweet faces of my children is indescribable, they’re my life. Seeing that same look mirrored on the face of my beautiful wife, no words. I’m one lucky bastard.

After pulling her into my arms, I place a soft kiss on her lips. “Hi, beautiful,” I breathe. I hear the kids giggle from behind me. The boys always do that when they see us kiss. I’m sure Eve just follows suit. She’s still too young to understand. She likes to copy everything her brothers do, and finds their crazy antics extremely amusing. She’s so sweet.

“Hi, handsome.” Coming home to her will never get old.

Letting go, I take a step towards the tub before placing a kiss on top of Jaxson, Levi and Eve’s heads. “How was school today?” I ask the boys, when I stand to full height. Levi started school this year. Unlike Jaxson’s first day last year, Levi was fine. The moment we pulled up outside the gates he told us we could go. Of course we didn’t, but it again proved how different they are. Their personalities are miles apart.

I’m smiling as they give me a blow-by-blow of their entire day. The moment they’re done, Indi pushes me toward the door. “Watch your sister for me boys, I need to speak to your father in private.” I smirk when she gets me out into the hall, half closing the bathroom door behind her as she goes.

“Couldn’t wait to get me alone, huh?” I ask, cocking one eyebrow.

“Dream on,” she laughs. “There’s a pile of wrapped Christmas presents hiding under our bed. Can you put them up in the top of the wardrobe before the kids find them?”

“That’s it? You dragged me out here for that? I was hoping you’d at least give me a touch up, or something.” She laughs at my comment before reaching out to give my junk a squeeze.

“There. The rest will have to wait until the kids are asleep.”

“I can’t wait,” I say, cupping her face in my hands and placing a chaste kiss on her lips. With three small children, our alone time is scarce. I miss our marathon sex romps.

After grabbing the stepladder from the laundry, I head into the bedroom. I smile to myself at the amount of presents under the bed. I love seeing the kids’ faces on Christmas morning when they open all of their gifts. My children want for nothing. I’m thankful I can give them everything I didn’t have when I was a kid. I know my mum did the best she could with what little she had.

Opening the wardrobe doors, I grab the first few boxes and climb the ladder. That’s when I see a small wooden box sitting on the shelf. It’s pushed towards the back. After unloading what’s in my arms, I reach for it. I’ve never seen this before, it must belong to Indi.

Removing the lid, a smile graces my face when I see what’s inside. It’s a treasure box of some kind. It’s full of little trinkets, letters and cards. She has things that I’ve given her in there as well.

As I go to replace the lid, something on top catches my eye. It’s a list. A bucket list to be precise. Written up top are the words, ‘Things I want to do before I die’. I get a pang in my heart when I read that. All the memories of Indi and the tumour flood my mind. I’m so glad she beat that fucker.

My eyes scan down the list. Half of the things are already crossed off.

THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:

1. Experience a white Christmas.

2. Marry the man of my dreams.

3. Have children.

4. Open my own Veterinary Clinic.

5. Build a snowman.

6. Go skinny dipping.

7. Climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge.

8. Go snorkelling somewhere tropical.

9. Dance in the rain.

She must’ve written this when she found out she was sick. My mouth curves into a smile as I read number two. I married the woman of my dreams as well. Come to think of it, I played a part in all the things she’s crossed off her list so far.

Memories of the time we went skinny dipping flood my mind. We’ve actually done it twice. Once in the lake out the back of her place in Sydney. The other time was before the kids were born. One night we snuck across the road and went skinny dipping in the ocean.

I read over the list one more time making a mental note of all the things she’s yet to do, before placing it back in the box. I’m gonna try my damn hardest to make sure she gets to do everything she wished for. I’m not sure how I’m going to pull off the white Christmas though. It’s too fucking hot in Australia in December. It will never snow here that time of year.

My mind goes into planning mode as I set about putting the rest of the presents away. The snorkelling will be easy. We’re taking the kids to Fiji in March with Megan, Drew and the girls. I can organise that for her when we get there. Then it hits me. A brilliant fucking idea. I think I can actually do everything on that list, or die trying. I have four weeks, surely I can pull this off in a month.

The kids already have their passports. I’m going to give my wife a Christmas she’ll never forget. Well, try to. We did get married on Christmas Day, so that’s going to be hard to top.

•

By the 15th of December, I have it all sorted. I can’t wait to see her face when she finds out what I’ve done. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. I just want to see her happy, and help make all her dreams come true. After everything she’s been through, she deserves that.

“Carter,” I hear her call out as I finish reading a bedtime story to Eve.

“Another story, Daddy?” she pleads. I chuckle as I stand, before gazing down at her hopeful face.

“Not tonight, princess, it’s time to go to sleep, and I need to go and see what Mummy wants. I’ll read you another story tomorrow night.”

“Okay.” Closing her eyes, she rolls onto her side. She’s such a good girl. She never gives me any trouble.

“Sweet dreams, baby girl,” I say as I tuck the thin blanket up around her chin and bend down to kiss her cheek.

“Goodnight, Daddy,” she replies with a yawn.

“I love you,” I whisper as my fingers smooth the hair back off her sweet face.

“I love you too.”

This kid melts my fucking heart.

“Carter,” Indi calls out again just as I’m closing Eve’s bedroom door.

“I’m coming.” As I walk down the hall a soft foam bullet hits me square in the forehead. I see Jaxson holding a Nerf gun in his hand as he and Levi quickly duck behind the wall laughing. “Keep it down, you guys,” I say as I pass them. “Your sister is in bed.”

“Okay, Dad,” Jaxson snickers. I cop another bullet in the arse as I make my way towards the bedroom, where I presume Indi is. Little shits. I hear them laughing again as they run off towards the lounge room.

“What the hell, Carter,” Indi says when I enter the room. The wardrobe doors are open, so I know exactly what she’s going to say. “Where’ve all the kids’ presents gone?”

“I hid them in the storeroom down in my shop,” I reply as my arms encircle her waist and I draw her towards me. “I thought they’d be safer down there. The boys are getting bigger now and might start snooping.” I’m so glad I already had my story planned in my head.

“Oh. Okay. Good thinking. You’re getting very wise in your old age Mr Reynolds,” she says, supressing a smile.

“Hey. I’m not fucking old,” I snap. “I didn’t hear you complaining the other night when I fucked you so hard you could barely walk.” My fingers dig into her arse cheeks as I pull her hips forward so she can feel my hardening cock. I have zero trouble in getting it up. Thirty-one isn’t fucking old.

I’ll show her just how young I am when I get her into bed tonight.

•

December 21st

“Where are you taking me?” Indiana asks as we head towards Williamtown. Our parents have the kids overnight. Today she thinks I’m taking her out for a little us time. We got plenty of that last night, and again this morning, if you know what I mean.

She has no idea we’re on our way to the airport. Our parents and the kids should already be there. The airport shuttle bus was picking them up at 9:00 am. It’s now just after ten.

They have all our luggage with them. Mum came over a few days ago and helped me pack everything we’d need for our vacation while Indiana was with the kids at swimming lessons. Thankfully it’s summer, so I knew Indiana wouldn’t notice any of her winter clothes were missing.

Everything has gone to plan, just like I hoped.

LJ spent the night at Mum and Dad’s, with the kids. He likes to be wherever they are. He’ll be spending the next week with my grandma. She decided she wouldn’t be travelling with us. The cold weather doesn’t agree with her arthritis. I know she’ll be okay, but I’ve organised for Megan to check up on her from time to time while we’re gone, just to ease my mind. She’s also going to take her to their house for Christmas lunch so she’s not alone.

“Why are we at the airport?” Indiana asks when we arrive.

“You ask too many questions, babe,” I reply, leaning across the centre console and brushing my lips against hers.

“We’re not going away are we? You know I couldn’t go anywhere without the kids right? Being away from them last night was bad—” I grab hold of her face and cover my mouth with hers to shut her up. She’ll find out what’s happening when we meet up with the rest of the family. She’s working herself into a damn frenzy. As much as I love the thought of just the two of us going away together, I couldn’t leave the kids either. When I finally pull out of the kiss, she narrows her eyes at me. “You did that on purpose.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I chuckle because there’s no point denying it. She knows me too well.

“You kissed me to shut me up.” She reaches over the seat and pinches me. I laugh as I rub my arm. Her damn fingers are lethal.

•

Dad called this morning after he told the kids where we were going to be spending Christmas. I had to leave that job to him. It was too risky for me to tell them. I couldn’t chance one of them spilling the beans.

He said they were jumping around screaming with excitement. I wish I’d been able to see that. Apparently Jaxson has made up signs for him and his brother and sister to hold up, to surprise Indi when we get to the airport.

He’s such a thoughtful kid.

The minute we walk through the automatic doors, she spots them. “What the hell?” she screeches as her head snaps in my direction. “Why are the kids and our parents here?”

“Surprise.” I don’t know what else to say.

Her head moves back in their direction. Jaxson is holding up a sign that says, ‘Surprise Mummy’. Next in line is Levi. His sign says, ‘We are having a white Christmas’. I laugh when my gaze moves to Eve. Her sign is upside down, but you can still read it. ‘In New York’.

“Oh. My. God,” I hear her whisper. When she looks back at me, there are tears welling in her eyes. “Are we really going to have a white Christmas?” When I nod my head, she launches herself into my arms. “Oh, Carter,” she cries. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, baby.”

•

We’re fifteen hours into our twenty-one hour flight. The kids have handled it better than I expected. Eve is asleep in my arms, and Indi’s head is resting on my shoulder. Our parents have taken one boy each, which makes it easier for us.

I’m grateful they agreed to come along. I can’t imagine spending Christmas Day without them, plus I know they’ll help out with the kids and give Indiana and I some alone time while we’re away.

“The kids’ presents,” Indiana says suddenly, bolting upright in her seat. “They can’t wake up Christmas morning to nothing.”

“It’s all sorted, don’t stress. They’ll get two Christmases’, one in New York, and one when we get home.”

“What do you mean it’s all sorted?”

“I’ve organised for some gifts to arrive at the hotel where we’re staying.”

“You have?” she asks as her pretty face lights up.

“I have.” She releases a contented sigh before placing her head back on my shoulder and snuggling into my side. “You’re the best.”

•

Jesus fucking Christ.

The maniac who drove us from the airport to the hotel where we’re staying in Times Square, is lucky I didn’t knock him the fuck out by the time we finally arrived. I was so pissed he’d put my family in danger. I think we were all relieved to make it in one piece. We had way too many close calls. Ross even gave him a stern talking to when we were unpacking the luggage from the car, which cracked me up.

I love that man.

Although I was grateful we survived the airport transfer ride, I was gutted to see not an ounce of snow in New York. Not one damn flake. It was cold. Bitterly cold actually, but not snowing. I hope I didn’t fly my family all the way here just to freeze my damn nuts off.

The porter stacked all the suitcases onto the hotel trolley while I headed to the reception desk to check us all in. Jaxson, Levi and Eve are staying in our suite with us, but I booked a double room for my parents as well, so they have room to accommodate the kids overnight if need be. As you can tell, finding ways to have uninterrupted sex with my wife is always at the forefront of my mind.

With the time difference between countries, it was 5:00 pm New York time when we finally made it to our suite. We were all exhausted and ready for bed. Indi set about bathing the kids, while I ordered some room service so we could eat before crashing.

•

The next few days we did all the touristy things—the Statue of Liberty and Central Park to name a few. Also a shit load of shopping. Indiana couldn’t believe how cheap everything was over here, so she definitely made the most of it. Not sure how we’re going to get it all home though.

It’s safe to say that none of us were prepared for the sheer volume of people in the streets of New York—fucking crazy. It blew my mind. Indi clung to the boys’ hands wherever we went, while I pushed Eve in the stroller. Now I know why they call this the city that never sleeps. Fuck me.

Christmas Eve rolled around fast and to my huge disappointment, there was still no snow. Even though we were all having a great vacation, I was feeling so let down and deflated. Her bucket list specifically stated a white Christmas, not just a damn cold one.

Later that night, once the kids were all in bed, Indi and I snuggled on the sofa in front of the fake fire. I’d asked my travel agent to get me a room with a fireplace, but due to the fire hazard, this was the best she could do. It looked like a real one, so I was happy with that.

I also managed to organise with the hotel staff to have a large, decorated Christmas tree placed in our room. What would Christmas be without a tree? Indi bought some Christmas stockings for the kids yesterday, and she’s hung them on the mantelpiece. It was a nice touch. All we needed now was the fucking snow.

“I’m sorry there’s no snow,” I say, drawing her in closer to me. I feel like such a prick for letting her down. They’re expecting snow the day we’re due to fly out. Fat lot of good that will do us, Christmas will be over by then.

“You have nothing to be sorry about. You’ve given me and the kids such a wonderful gift. Snow or no snow, I’ll never forget this vacation.” Shifting her body so she’s facing me, her lips meet mine. “You’re an amazing husband and father for doing this. I love how you’d go to any length to make us happy.”

Her words bring a lump to my throat. Leaning forward, I push her backwards and lay over the top of her. “I love you.” She always knows the right things to say to make me feel better.

The second my mouth covers hers and my hand slides underneath her sweater, there’s a damn knock on the door. Fuck, nothing’s going right for me today. After placing a kiss on her nose, I instruct her not to move, while I get rid of whoever is at the door.

“I have the boxes you requested to be brought to your room this evening, sir,” the porter says when I open the door. Shit, the presents. I was so consumed by the no snow factor, that the kids’ gifts totally slipped my mind.

After helping him unload the trolley, I hand him a tip. I’m still getting used to this whole tipping thing. We don’t do this back home. The only person I haven’t tipped since coming here was the damn driver that picked us up at the airport.

Well, actually, I did give him a tip, but not a monetary one. Once our bags were unloaded from the car, he stood in front of me with his hand extended. Raising an eyebrow, I gave him a quizzical look. “You need to tip him,” Indi said, nudging me.

I had the perfect one for him. “You want a tip? Get some fucking driving lessons, dickhead.” Indi gasped beside me as soon as the words were out of my mouth, but I heard Ross chuckling in the background. Somebody needed to say it. He’s gonna kill someone one day if he keeps driving like that. The kids were already standing inside the lobby out of the cold, with my mother. I’d never swear like that in front of them.

“What’s in all the boxes?” Indi asks coming up behind me and sliding her arms around my waist.

“Open them and see.”

As soon as she removes the tape and pulls back the flaps of the first box, she gasps as her hands cover her mouth. “Oh. My. God. Carter these are all the kids’ presents from home.”

“I know. I had them shipped over here a few weeks ago.”

“Far out,” she mumbles, the shock apparent on her face. “You really went above and beyond.”

After all the gifts are unpacked and under the tree, I pull her into my arms. “Let’s go to bed and finish what we started before we were rudely interrupted.”

“Sounds wonderful.” Getting up on the tip of her toes, she lightly brushes her lips against mine. While I turn off the fake fire, she heads over to close the curtains covering the floor-to-ceiling windows. “Carter, look. Holy crap, it’s snowing,” she squeals.

Walking up behind her, I see her smile reflected in the glass and the small white flakes floating down from the heavens.

Thank fuck for that.

•

By some small miracle, it’s still snowing when we wake the next morning. The whole city is covered in a blanket of white. It looks majestic. I’m not sure if the kids are more excited about their presents or the snow. Seeing the pure joy on my family’s faces is the greatest gift anyone could give me.

“This is for you,” I say to my beautiful wife, as I hand her a small box. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” she replies, wrapping her arms around me and squeezing me tight.

“Open it.” I watch as she tears the wrapping off excitedly.

“Carter,” she breathes. There are tears pooling in her eyes when they meet mine. I brought her a pair of diamond encrusted snowflake earrings.

“Something to remind you of your first white Christmas,” I tell her.

“This is the best Christmas ever. I’ll never ever forget it.”

“Even better than our first Christmas?” I say when she throws her arms around me.

“No. Nothing could top that day. It’s the day I married the man of my dreams.”

I can’t fight the smile that forms on my face. I love that she thinks I’m the man of her dreams.

“Open the envelope,” I instruct next.

“Tickets to do the Sydney Harbour Bridge climb,” she squeals. “Oh. My. God. Did you find my list?”

“What list?” I chuckle.

•

After we eat a big Christmas breakfast in the hotel’s restaurant with our parents, I ask Indi to take the kids back to the room and rug them up. I needed to slip out and get a few things before we headed out for the day.

It took me over a damn hour to find what I needed, but I was so grateful I did. I know it took that long, because I’m wearing the gold watch Indiana bought me for Christmas. She had ‘Forever My Man’ engraved on the back. I fucking love it … love her.

“What’s in the bag?” Indi asks when I arrived back at the room.

Passing it to her, she looks inside. “A carrot, a scarf and black buttons?” Her face screws up when she looks at me.

“We’re going to the park to build a snowman,” I say smiling, just as she launches herself into my arms.

“Will the surprises ever stop coming?”

“Nope,” I say with a chuckle.

“You give me so much.”

“Do you even realise what you’ve given me over the years, Indiana? And I’m not just talking about our three beautiful children. Right from the very beginning, you saw the good in me when nobody else did. You loved the bastard nobody else could. And the moment you stopped fighting me and finally agreed to marry me, you made me the happiest man in the world. I’ll never be able to repay you for any of that.”

“I’ll never stop loving you,” she says, tenderly placing her lips on mine.

“And I’ll never stop loving you either.” When she finally lets me go, she steps back before raising her hand to pinch my side.

“Ouch. What was that for?”

“You so found my list, Carter,” she says narrowing her eyes.

I burst out laughing, pulling her back into my arms. “Oh that list?” I reply as I place a kiss on the top of her head. “Yeah I found your list, babe.”

Keep reading for a sneak peek of Hooker …

J. L. Perry’s new novel

Hooker

coming soon!

Hooker

Jade

Jade’s young life was tough. After her mother died during childbirth and her father could no longer look after her, she was placed in foster care where she stayed for the next ten years. She grew up feeling unloved and unwanted as she was passed around from one screwed up home to the next.

Things began to look up for her when she was adopted by a wealthy socialite at the age of eleven. Sometimes, though, things aren’t always what they seem. Jade didn’t know it at the time, but her new adoptive mother had big plans for her, and spent the next seven years grooming Jade for that role.

Jade learnt early in life that she couldn’t rely on anyone but herself. Instead of letting her circumstances beat her, she took all the negatives she’d been dealt, and used them to her advantage. She grew up to be a strong, successful, determined and independent woman. She was a loner by choice.

The only thing lacking in her life was companionship and love. She’d never experienced it, so she didn’t know what she was missing, until she had a one-night-stand with a handsome stranger. One night, that would change everything.

•

Brock

Brock grew up privileged. He had everything going for him. Money, looks, charm, success and an endless array of beautiful women. He wasn’t interested in commitment. To him women were easy. They practically threw themselves at his feet. All they wanted was to do something nobody had ever managed before. Snare the hot, rich bachelor.

Then he met Jade. She was like a breath of fresh air. A challenge. Nothing like the women he was used to. Their one night together ignited something within him. A burning desire to own her, possess her, but Jade had other plans. Nobody says no to Brock Weston, nobody.

He’s left wondering about a woman he knows he can never have. But, when fate brings them together again, will he get what he wants? Will he be able to claim the unattainable? Or will her secrets crush him, and destroy any chance they have of being together?

Prologue

The Past …

Jade

I’m cursed. Or so I thought.

Today is the day my life changes for the better. Well in my heart that’s what I’m hoping for anyway. I think things are finally looking up for me. I can’t believe after all this time, I’ve finally been adopted. I’m going to have everything I’ve ever wished for.

A real home.

A real family.

As we pull up to the front gates of where I’ll now be living, I’m sure my jade green eyes are bugging out of my head. I pinch myself on the arm just to make sure I’m not dreaming. This place is huge. Like a mansion. It’s nothing like where I’ve come from. For the past eleven years of my life, I’ve been shifted from one shitty foster home to the next.

My adversity started the moment I came into this world. My mother haemorrhaged and died giving birth to me. That alone can come with catastrophic consequences for a child, but that was only the beginning of what was in store for me. Her death started a chain of events that would lead me into the most horrific childhood imaginable.

Losing his wife and being left to care for a newborn turned out to be too much for my father, I guess. A few months after I was born he gave me up. That’s how I became a ward of the state.

Over the years I’ve been severely mistreated. I’ve been inappropriately touched, mentally and physically abused, and almost sent to the brink of starvation with one incredibly cruel family I was unlucky enough to be placed with.

Sure not all foster homes are bad. I did, on many occasions, get placed into nice families. The trouble with foster care is, it’s only temporary. Those nicer homes never lasted and I found myself being thrown into other incredibly disturbing situations more than I care to admit. Even at my young age it didn’t take long to distinguish between families who fostered because they cared, and those who did it solely for the money.

The things I’ve been through in my short life would’ve broken even the strongest of characters, but not me. As the years passed and I realised nothing or no one could change my situation, that no one was going to ride in on a beautiful white stallion and save me from the miserable predicament I was in, I began to use my life experiences to my advantage. With every hardship, it only served to strengthen my will to survive.

I have a strong feeling in my stomach all that’s about to change. Well, a hopeful feeling anyway. If my life has taught me anything, it’s that things aren’t always as they seem.

My gaze follows the large M. M. initials that are moulded on the black wrought iron security gates, as they slowly part, allowing us access.

I wonder what M. M. stands for?

My eyes dart everywhere as we travel down the long driveway towards the large white house. This place looks like something you’d see in the movies. Is this really going to be my new home? I can’t contain the excitement that courses through my body as I bounce up and down on my seat.

I’ve been told that jade is supposed to be a symbol of luck. It’s even been said to guard against accidents and misfortune. I never believed that. Look at the life I’ve led up to now.

Maybe I’m wrong.

Maybe it’s actually true.

Maybe it really is lucky.

When the car finally comes to a stop at the entrance to the house, I’m suddenly frozen with fear. I’ve noticed this always happens when I arrive somewhere new. It’s probably because I never know what lies behind those doors. Some of the terrible places I lived in flash through my mind.

Please let this be one of the good ones.

“Are you ready to go inside?” Cheryl, my social worker asks, pulling me from my inner turmoil. She must see the uncertainty in my eyes when I look her way because she reaches across the seat, taking my tiny hand in hers. “It’s okay to be frightened, Jade,” she says in a reassuring voice. “I understand that this’ll be hard for you, but Melody handpicked you out of all the other children in the orphanage. Like me, she can see how special you are.” I feel a smile tug at my lips. Cheryl has always been kind to me.

When she lets go of my hand and exits the car, I do the same. After opening the trunk, she passes me my worn brown suitcase. The handle is broken so I tuck it under my arm. That and the few clothes inside it are my only possessions in this world. I treasure them.

After we climb the front steps and stop at the large wooden door, I notice the same initials that were on the front gate, carved into the rich wood. When Cheryl raises her hand to knock, I inhale a large breath, squaring my shoulders.

I’m a big girl now, I can do this.

An elderly man answers the door a minute later. He’s dressed in a suit. His eyes rake over Cheryl before landing on me.

“My name is Cheryl, and this is Jade. I’m with the Department of Community Services.” He looks down at her outstretched hand, but doesn’t take hold.

“M is expecting you,” is all he says, stepping aside so we can enter. He seems a little mean. It brings all my worries back.

“Wow,” I breathe when we enter the grand foyer of the house. I’ve never seen anything like this before. I still can’t believe this is going to be my new home.

“This way please,” the mean man says. We both follow him into a large room off to the side of the main entrance. My eyes are darting everywhere. “The child is here.”

“Welcome, my dear,” Melody says rising from her desk and coming to stand in front of me. She has a pleasant smile on her face which makes me feel better. She was really nice to me the first time I met her in Cheryl’s office. I think I’m going to like it here.

“Thank you,” I whisper in a shy voice as I bow my head.

When Cheryl prepares to leave a little while later and says her goodbyes, my stomach churns as the butterflies return. I’m going to miss seeing her. I’m suddenly feeling unsure again about being left on my own in this big house.

Melody asks me to follow her upstairs, so she can show me my new room. Picking up my bag and tucking it under my arm again, I trail behind her. I count the white marble steps in my head as I go.

She leads me down the long hallway until we come to stop outside one of the doors. I can’t believe my eyes when she opens it. “Wow. Is this really my room? Like forever?” I ask in disbelief, because I really can’t believe it.

“Yes,” she replies, clearing her throat.

It’s so beautiful. Too beautiful for words. I’m so excited, I have to try really hard to hold in my squeal. My bed is so big. It has a pretty pink cover and white lace canopy over the top. I have my very own princess bed. My eyes take everything in as I slowly spin around in a circle. I’m a princess, and my new home is my castle.

I can’t believe I’m rich.

Boy I’d love to rub this in Ruby’s face if I could. She’s one of the mean girls from the orphanage. She was always horrible to me. She used to tip water on my mattress and then tell everyone that I peed the bed.

I gently place my suitcase on top of the covers when I approach my new bed. “Get that filthy thing off there,” Melody screeches, making me jump with fright.

Quickly picking it back up, I clutch it to my chest before turning to face her. “I’m sorry, Melody.”

“Come with me,” she snaps in a harsh tone as she walks towards the white door on the other side of the room. My heart starts to race. I hope she’s not going to lock me in the cupboard. At one of the foster homes I stayed at a few years ago, I’d get locked in a cupboard for hours sometimes. It was so dark and scary.

I release the nervous breath I’m holding when she opens the door that leads to a large white bathroom. “Give me that bag and take off your clothes,” she orders.

“Sorry?” I’m confused.

“Take off your clothes, Jade.” Her voice is stern so I do as I’m told. My hands are shaking as I undo the buttons on my favourite pink dress. “Everything,” she adds when I’m down to my underwear. Once I remove my panties, I use both my hands to cover my private parts. Bending down, she screws up her face and picks my clothes off the floor with two fingers, like I have jimmy germs or something. “I want you take a bath and get dressed in your new clothes. When you’re done, come downstairs for lunch. You’ll find everything you need in the chest of drawers next to your bed.”

“Where are you taking my clothes?” I ask in a quiet voice.

“These rags? There going in the rubbish bin, where they belong. You won’t be needing them anymore. I’m sure you’ll be happy with the purchases I’ve made for you.”

Noooo. Not my most treasured possessions.

With that she turns, leaving me all alone. I successfully manage to fight back the tears that threaten to fall. Over the years I’ve become a master at it. I quickly learnt that crying only seemed to get me in more trouble.

•

As upset as I was at the time, my measly possessions where soon forgotten as the weeks passed. I now had a wardrobe full of beautiful clothes, and shoes. There was even pretty bows for me to wear in my hair. Life here was good.

I was immediately placed into one of the most exclusive all-girl schools in the country. I’d attended over twenty different public schools in the six years I’d been in foster care. Although I was bright, I was a little behind on my school work because I’d been shuffled from one home to the next. M hired private tutors to help me catch up. That’s what I now call her. I found out the initials M. M. stood for Miss Melody, but she preferred just plain M.

It would be another seven years until I’d find out the true meaning behind those initials.

She also went as far as putting me into speech therapy. I thought there was nothing wrong with the way I spoke, but she disagreed. Apparently talking like you have a plum in your mouth is the way people communicate in her circle. Ridiculous if you ask me, but I went along with it to keep her happy. To be honest, at the time I was grateful she seemed to care. Boy, were those thoughts misguided. It was all just part of her devious, masterful plan.

On weekends, I attended one of the finest finishing schools money could buy. She said I wasn’t refined enough for a lady. Newsflash, I ain’t no lady. Well I wasn’t at the time. I was an eleven-year-old girl that, due to her past, was extremely tough and street smart. Over the next few years though, that’s exactly what I became.

A lady.

Once I hit fourteen, I was given my own personal trainer to help me stay in shape. Her words, not mine. At my age, even I knew that was kind of ridiculous. There was nothing wrong with my body. I was tall and slim with curves in all the right places. I guess out of all the misfortunes I’ve endured since birth, I was lucky enough to be blessed with the most amazing genetics.

My new life came with strict rules. M forbade me to have a boyfriend. Like threatened to go all ninja on my arse if I even went near a boy. I honestly thought she was looking out for me, so I did exactly as she requested. I was only a child after all, so I didn’t really care, or know any better. Boys weren’t high on my agenda at the time anyway.

I was around the age of sixteen when M confessed why she’d handpicked me from the orphanage. “You’re exquisite, my dear. You have the face and body of a goddess. Those eyes, breathtaking. The moment I saw you I knew you were the one. My men are going to be clawing to get their hands on you.” I had no idea what she meant by her men. Unfortunately, I’d find out soon enough.

I’m not going to lie, it was confusing and hurtful to think she’d chosen me solely on my looks. Appearance was very high on her agenda though, so it shouldn’t have surprised me. I was continually scolded if I hadn’t dressed to her high standards, or acted accordingly.

As long as I played by her rules, I had everything handed to me on a silver platter. The finest designer clothes and vacations all over the world, but my new home lacked love and affection just like the others. Looking back now, I suppose you can’t miss something you’ve never really known. Sure, she treated me well, but there were times she made me feel more like an object than an actual human being.

It wasn’t until my eighteenth birthday, that I discovered the real reason M had been putting so much time, effort and money into making me so refined, so perfect. As it turns out, she wasn’t as generous as I thought. I was in fact being groomed. Coming from where I’ve been, I should’ve known nothing in life comes for free, and the day would come when I’d have to pay her back.

It was also the day I found out the M in M. M. didn’t stand for Miss at all, it actually stood for Madam. Madam Melody. Can you believe it? Monster Melody would be better suited. She owns the most exclusive, high-class escort agency in the country. I became her protégé. Her new meal ticket.

“I have put a lot of money and time into you, my dear,” were her exact words. “It’s time for you to repay that debt. You will be coming to work for me.” The tone in which she spoke told me this wasn’t up for negotiation. I would be working for her, regardless. “With your exquisite beauty, that body, and your sweet persona, Jade, you are going to make me a lot of money. Make us both a lot of money.”

A week after my birthday, her long awaited plan came to fruition. I was set up in my own luxurious apartment, and began my training which ultimately would make me her number one girl.

Six months later, I was ready to embark on my new life. My life as a high-class escort, or prostitute for lack of a better word. She made me sign a contract, binding me to her for the next seven years. One year of service for every year I’d lived with her.

It all suddenly made sense. That’s why I’d been forbidden to associate with the opposite sex. She needed to guarantee my virtue would remain intact. That way she could sell me off to the highest bidder like a piece of meat. Bitch.

Initially I wasn’t happy about her plans for me, devastated would be more the word. After reading the contract, I felt sick. Physically sick. It hurt to think all the nice things she’d done for me over the years weren’t because she cared. It was obvious I was just a commodity for her sick and twisted plan.

The only positive thing I could see in this situation was the kind of money on offer, it would give me the opportunity to set myself up for life. A chance to start fresh. To live my life the way I’ve always wanted to live it. I’d be able to do all the things I’ve dreamed of doing. It was a chance to be free from all the horrors of my past. Without this, I’d be back to where I started, with nothing. All alone and penniless.

The life of a high-class escort wasn’t all glitz and glamor. There’ve been times over the years I’ve struggled with what I’m expected to do, with the person I’ve become. Like really struggled. My first night on the job was the worst. The absolute worst. I remember thinking to myself I’d rather die than go through that again. What little respect I still had for M was now gone. It was replaced with hate. With contempt. How could she do this to me?

My contract stated fifty percent of all my earnings were to go to M. Payment for all the money she’d outlaid getting me ready for this role. She was my carer, my guardian. There shouldn’t have been any need for repayment.

I felt trapped. I had no money and nowhere else to go. Sure I had a good education and would eventually find employment, but for the interim at least, I’d be forced to live on the streets. She manipulated me into thinking I owed her, and that what she was doing was for the best. Although my common sense knew this wasn’t the case, the vulnerable part of me believed her.

That first sexual encounter will haunt me forever. For-fucking-ever. Over the years though, I learnt to deal with my current situation. I hated it, but in the grand scheme of things, it was a walk in the park compared to some of the things I’d endured growing up.

I only have two more years of my sentence to serve, and then I’ll be free. I’ve survived a lot worse in my short life, so I knew I’d get through the remainder of my contract easy enough. I’d finally accepted this is my destiny, my fate. This is who I was meant to be. For the interim anyway. Or so I thought.

I had no idea in the coming weeks I’d be faced with a situation where I’d break all the rules. M would’ve been spitting kittens if she was to ever find out I’d betrayed her trust. Tough shit I say, she betrayed me in the worst possible way. She should’ve been the one person who looked out for my welfare, not the one to throw me to the lions.

It clearly states in my contract I’m not allowed to have any contact with a man outside of my work. That meant no boyfriends and definitely no casual sex. Because of what I’ve been forced into doing, I kind of hated men anyway. I had no qualms about that clause. None whatsoever. Well I didn’t until I met Brock Weston. After my encounter with Mr Weston, my life would never be the same.

One night of passion with a sinfully hot, charming and charismatic stranger would change everything.

Would change me …

Keep reading for a sneak peek of Bastard …

If you enjoyed Luckiest Bastard then read on to see how it all began for Carter and Indi . . .

Bastard

by J. L. Perry

Available now!

Bastard

My name is Carter Reynolds. I was born a bastard and I’ll die a bastard. I learnt it at a young age, and nothing and nobody can change that. I’m on a one-way path of destruction, and God help anyone who gets in my way. I hate my life. Actually, I hate pretty much everything.

That’s until I meet the kid next door. Indi-freakin’-ana. My dislike for her is instant. From the moment I lay eyes on her, she ignites something within me. She makes me feel things I thought I was incapable of feeling. I don’t like it, not one bit. When she looks at me with her big, beautiful, haunting green eyes, it’s like she can see into the depths of my soul. It freaks me the hell out. She’s like sunshine and rainbows in my world of gloom and doom. I hate sunshine and rainbows.

•

I’m Indiana Montgomery. My friends call me Indi. Despite losing my mum at the age of six, I have a wonderful life and great friends. My dad more than makes up for the fact that I only have one parent. I’m his little girl, the centre of his world. I adore him.

When Carter Reynolds moves in next door, my life takes a turn for the worse. He’s gorgeous, sinfully hot, but that’s where my compliments end. He seems hell-bent on making my life miserable. He acts tough, but when I look into his eyes I don’t see it. I see hurt and pain. To me, he seems lost.

I should hate him for the way he treats me, but surprisingly I don’t. If anything, I feel sorry for him. I want to help him find peace. Help him find the light that I know is buried somewhere within his darkness, but he won’t have a bar of it.

He’s warned me time and time again to stay away, but I can’t. I’m drawn to him for some reason. He’s always referring to himself as a bastard. That may be true, but to me, he’s more like a beautifully, misunderstood bastard. Whether he likes it or not, I refuse to give up on him.

Prologue

The Past …

Carter

Reaching out, my mum wraps her long, dainty fingers around my small hand. “Jump, baby.” She smiles as I launch from the bottom step off the bus, landing on the sidewalk. We both laugh. I love my mum. She’s fun.

“Brrrrrr, it’s cold today,” she says.

Looking up, I find her shivering. I smile at her as she zips up her coat to keep warm. Digging through her bag, she takes out my favourite Spiderman beanie and scarf, holding them up for me to see.

“Put these on, sweetie,” she says smiling as she crouches down in front of me, placing my beanie on my head and wrapping the scarf around my neck. “Let me get your gloves,” she adds, reaching into her bag again. “I can’t have my little man getting sick.” I stand and watch as she pushes my small fingers into my blue gloves, one by one. “There, all snug.”

“Snug as a bug in a rug,” I add. This is something she says to me every night when she tucks me into bed.

“That’s right, baby,” she says leaning forward, giving me a soft kiss on my nose. Rising to her feet she reaches for my hand. “Come on.”

As we walk down the street, my eyes take everything in. I don’t think I’ve ever been here before. There are shops on one side of the street, and big houses on the other. “Where are we, Mummy?” I ask while looking around. The loud roar of a motorbike passing makes me jump.

“This is my hometown. I grew up here.” I look up at her. Wow. Mummy lived somewhere else before our home?

She gazes down at me, but she looks sad. “You lived here when you were little, like me?” I ask.

“Uh huh. This is where your grandparents live.”

“I have a grandma and grandpa?” I didn’t know that either. I feel my eyes widen and I smile. I hear the kids at school talk about their grandparents all the time. I’ve always wondered why I didn’t have any of my own.

I’ve never asked my mum why. Once I asked her how come I didn’t have a daddy like the other kids, and it made her cry. I don’t like seeing my mummy cry.

“I’m taking you to meet them now. They’ve never met you before.” I’m getting so excited, like I did a few weeks ago when I turned five, and my mummy bought me a big chocolate cake. My friend, Josh, was allowed to come over. He even bought me a present. Nobody but my mummy has ever bought me a present before. I met Josh’s grandparents once, when I was playing at his house. They were really nice. I hope my grandparents are like his.

I start jumping along because I’m so happy. Mummy stops in front of a big, white house. It’s really, really big, like the houses you see in movies. It’s so much bigger than where mummy and me live.

My mum’s hand starts shaking as she holds mine. I look at her. She looks mad, like the time I drew on the wall at home. Her eyes are doing funny things.

“Your hands are shaking, Mummy.”

“I’m okay little man, I’m just cold.” She looks down at me and smiles. Her eyes look happy when she looks at me.

“Do you want to borrow my gloves?”

“No, baby,” she says as her smile widens. She crouches down, placing her hands on either side of my face. “No matter what happens when we go in here, just remember how much I love you, and how special you are.”

“Okay,” I say. I love my mummy. I know I’m going to love my grandparents too.

“Good boy.” She leans forward and kisses my cheek before standing up and reaching for my hand again. “Let’s do this.”

As we walk down the long driveway, my mum’s hand continues to shake. I wish she’d put my gloves on. I hate how she’s cold.

“One … two … three … four … five.” I count the stairs in my head as we climb them before we stop in front of the big yellow door. I hear my mum let out a big breath. Letting go of my hand, she makes a fist as she raises her arm, but she stops mid-air. Looking down at me, her lips turn up before finally knocking on the door. I can’t wait to see my grandparents. I hope they have chocolate. I love chocolate.

Reaching for my hand, she gives it a squeeze. When the door opens, I look up at the man who stands there. He doesn’t look happy when he sees mummy.

“Elizabeth,” he says sternly.

“Hi, Daddy,” she replies nervously. He relaxes when mummy says that. The corners of his mouth turn up slightly. I feel my own big smile. Wow, this must be my grandpa. He looks so strong.

“What are you doing here?” he asks.

My mum doesn’t say anything for what feels like one hundred years. “I wanted to see you. I … ummm, wanted you to meet your grandson, Carter.” She gives my hand another squeeze as she looks down at me.

“Hello, Grandpa,” I say. I’m seeing my very own grandpa. I want to hug him.

He looks angry again as he stares down at me. Then his head snaps back up to look at my mummy. “Why did you bring that little bastard here?” he asks really, really meanly. “Get him out of here. Don’t you ever bring him here again.” Stepping back, he slams the door in our faces.

My mum makes a strange sound and I feel like crying. I’m sad because my mummy is sad. She only makes that noise when she’s upset. I don’t like my grandpa. He’s mean. “Come on, baby,” she says. When her eyes meet mine, I see her tears are already falling. I don’t like seeing my mummy cry.

I’m almost running behind her as she tugs on my hand. She hurries down the driveway and back out into the street. “What’s a bastard?” I ask. I’ve never heard that word before. The way my grandpa said it, it doesn’t sound like a nice word.

My question stops her walking. Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, she squats down in front of me. “You’re not a bastard,” she says sadly. “Pay no attention to what he said. You’re a beautiful boy.” She gives me a kiss on my forehead. “I’m sorry I brought you here.”

“It’s okay, Mummy,” I say trying real hard to be brave. When my bottom lip starts to quiver and the first tears fall, I know I’ve failed. I’m not brave.

“Oh, baby.” She opens her arms, pulling me tightly against her as I cry into her chest. “You’re not a bastard,” she whispers.

I want to believe her, I do, but why would grandpa say it if it’s not true? I hate that I’m a bastard. Even though I don’t know what it means, I know that this moment and that horrible word are going to stick with me for a long time. Maybe even the rest of my life.

•

bas·tard

1. Offensive A person born to parents not married to each other.

2. Slang

a. A person considered to be mean or contemptible.

b. A person, especially one considered to be unfortunate.

3. Something that is of irregular, inferior, or dubious origin.

It’s funny how one fleeting moment in time can change you. One stupid, crazy, fucked-up word can define you. I didn’t know it at the time, but after that day things changed—I changed. I was only five years old the day I learnt I was a bastard, and sadly as the years progressed, that’s exactly what I became.

Chapter One

The Present …

Carter

Packing the last of the boxes into the trunk of the car, I turn and take one final look at the only place I’ve ever called home. The place I’ve lived for the last seventeen years of my life. Sure it’s just a shitty old apartment block, but it’s my home. It’s all I’ve ever known. I’m fucking pissed they’re forcing me to leave here. I’ve been dreading this day. I hate that I’m going to have to live with that fuckwit my mum now calls her husband.

Thank God it’s only for six months. That’s when I’ll be turning eighteen; finally becoming a legal adult. You can be sure as hell the first thing I do, is blow this godforsaken place. My mum has that cocksucker to look after her now. She doesn’t need me anymore.

She started dating John Shepard six months ago. It was a whirlwind romance you could say. I guess she’s been alone since I was born, so I can’t really blame her for wanting a companion. It’s always been just the two of us. At first I kind of liked the idea of having a father figure around, but my hopes were soon dashed when I got to know Fuckwit. That’s my pet name for him. It suits him perfectly.

I saw the difference in her when she’d come home from being out with him. She was happier. Lighter. Like she was floating or some shit. I liked seeing her like that. She deserved happiness.

They’d been seeing each other for a few months before she brought him to the house to meet me. I was on my best behaviour the first time we met. I did it for her. He was very pleasant until she left the room for a few minutes to get us some drinks. The way he looked me up and down with disdain instantly had my suspicions rising. As time wore on, those looks turned into hateful remarks. In the beginning I’d done nothing to provoke them. I guess he just took a disliking to me for some reason. Maybe because I was a bastard. Who knows? I was used to rejection. I’d faced it my whole life.

My mum’s love has always been unconditional. Even when I acted up, she still loved me, still cared. I’ll be forever grateful for that. She’s been through a lot with me over the years, but her feelings for me never wavered. Not once. I was nothing to Fuckwit, I guess. Just a thorn in his side. Someone standing in the way of him being with my mother.

I was shattered when he proposed and she accepted, but I didn’t let her know that’s how I felt. I wasn’t about to burst her bubble. She deserved happiness after all the sacrifices she’d made for me over the years. I wasn’t about to stand in her way.

The day he finally put the ring on her finger was the same day he made his true feelings for me be known. They had some lame-arse civil ceremony at the registry office. It was my mum’s first marriage. She deserved so much more than that. I didn’t even want to attend, but she wanted me there, so for her sake I had to grin and bear it.

Afterwards, the three of us were heading to a nice restaurant for a celebratory lunch. Well, they were celebrating. I sure as hell wasn’t. My mum asked Fuckwit to stop off at the local patisserie so she could buy a nice cake to take with us. The minute she was out of the car he gave me a hateful look through the revision mirror.

“I love your mother,” he told me. “But don’t think for a minute that any of that affection extends to you, because it doesn’t. In my eyes, you’re the unwelcomed part of the package.” I hate to admit it, but his hurtful words stung. It only served to make me feel even lower about myself.

Why was I such a hard person to love?

Before I get a chance to close the trunk, my stepfather leans out of the driver’s side window. “Hurry up, son. I haven’t got all day,” he sneers in a sarcastic tone. I swear he does shit like this to bait me. My head snaps in his direction.

“I’m not your son. You best remember that, old man,” I retort, my eyes narrowing. “If you got off your arse and helped instead of sitting there barking orders at me all afternoon, we would’ve finished hours ago.”

Throwing back his head, he laughs at my comment. He acts so sweet in front of my mum. She falls for his pathetic shit all the time. Truth is, he’s a fake-arse prick. As soon as my mum’s back is turned he treats me like dirt. She might love him, but I don’t. I fucking hate him. This is going to be the longest six months of my life.

Slamming the trunk shut, I make my way around to the passenger side of the car. “Wipe your damn feet before you get in the car,” he barks. I swear if there were some dog shit nearby right now, I’d tread in it just to spite him.

Sighing, I do as he asks before seating myself in the passenger side. “Prick,” I mumble under my breath.

“Watch that smart mouth of yours, boy. I won’t tolerate you speaking like that in my house, and especially in front of your mother.” I’d never speak like that to my mum. Him though, that’s a whole other story.

Ignoring him I turn my head, gazing out the window, taking one last look at my home as he backs out of the drive. Christ, it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours and I already want to punch him.

Not a word is spoken on the drive to his place. I’m thankful for that. My stomach is in knots. Living with this arsehole is going to be pure fucking hell. I have no idea what my mother sees in him, but surprisingly he makes her happy. That’s the only reason I’m going along with this bullshit. I’m doing it for her, no other reason. After everything she has sacrificed for me she deserves to be happy.

It’s about an hour’s drive from my old neighbourhood to the gates of hell. Fuck, I need a cigarette. As soon as we pull into the street I’ll now be calling home, my heart rate picks up. The street is lined with perfect houses, with perfect lawns and fancy manicured gardens.

I hate it here already.

“This is your new home, my home. Remember that,” Fuckwit says when we pull into the driveway.

“Whoop-de-fucking-do,” I reply as I exit the car before he has a chance to say another word. I make my way around to the back of the vehicle to unpack the boxes. Of course that lazy fucker heads straight inside. I guess I’ll be doing all the work again.

Figures.

As I go to open the trunk, I’m stopped when I hear laughter. Pure, sweet, sickening laughter. My head snaps in the direction it came from, and that’s when I see her. Well actually, the first thing I see is her tight little arse. She’s bending over patting a dog, wearing these sexy little shorts. Tearing my eyes away from her, they land on the dog. It’s a long-haired German Shepherd.

The perfect dog.

Growing up I always wanted a dog like that, but living in an apartment building that didn’t allow animals made it impossible.

When the girl stands up straight my eyes move up to her long, dark hair that now cascades down her lean back. The sun’s beaming down on it, illuminating its shine. I find myself wishing she’d turn around so I can see her face. She doesn’t, so my gaze moves back down to her arse. Fuck me, what an arse.

Images of me wrapping her hair around my wrist as I bend her over, pounding her from behind enter my mind. It makes my dick stir. Jesus, why did I let my thoughts go there? Her body might be rockin’, but that doesn’t mean her face is. I guess, if I was giving it to her from behind, that wouldn’t really be a problem anyway.

I watch as she raises her arm, throwing the ball across the yard. She’s got a pretty good throw for a girl. The dog turns, galloping towards it. When he makes his way back he almost bowls her over in his excitement. She starts to laugh again, and I feel the corners of my lips turn up in a smile as I watch them.

“Good boy,” she says in a sweet voice as she scratches him behind the ears. “Who’s a good boy?” When the dog notices me standing there watching, he drops the ball from his mouth and trots in my direction.

“Hey boy,” I say holding my hand out for him to sniff. He seems friendly so I reach down, running my fingers through his long mane. I can feel my smile widen. Smiling is something I don’t usually do.

“Lassie,” I hear her call out, making my smile instantly turn into a scowl. She’s got to be fucking kidding. Lassie? She had the audacity to name this cool dog Lassie. What in the hell was she thinking? He looks more like a Rambo or Butch, definitely not a fucking Lassie.

“You poor thing,” I whisper as I scratch him behind the ears. “She’ll probably be cutting your balls off next and putting a fucking bow in your hair.”

My head snaps up and my brow furrows as she makes her way towards us. Fuck me if her face isn’t as beautiful as that luscious body of hers. I swear my jaw goes lax as she approaches. She’s a fucking babe. Her long dark hair frames her angelic face. Her large eyes are surrounded by thick, dark lashes. Her creamy skin is flawless, just making me itch to touch it. My eyes drift down to her tits. They’re kind of small, but more than a mouthful’s a waste, I suppose. She has a cute little button nose that makes me want to throw up in my mouth.

Okay, maybe that last comment was a bit over the top. That’s just my bastardry rearing its ugly head. It’s a defence mechanism I’ve developed and mastered over the years. A barrier I’ve put in place. I hate that she’s already making me feel things I don’t want to feel. I’ve learnt over the years if you can’t feel, you can’t hurt. If I’m going to be seeing her daily, I need to nip this shit in the bud right now before it gets out of hand.

“Hey, you must be Carter. Your mum told me you’d be moving in today.” Her beauty has rendered me speechless. What the hell?

Pulling myself together I straighten up to full height, towering over her tiny frame. Her sexy-as-fuck plump lips curve up into a smile as her beautiful green eyes meet mine. “I’m Indiana. Your new neighbour,” she says sweetly, extending her hand to me.

Game on.

It’s time to push her away before she gets too close. It’s called self-preservation. I learnt a long time ago, it lessens the sting if I reject someone before they get a chance to do that to me.

My gaze moves down to her extended hand then back up to her face. “You called your dog Lassie?” I snarl. “What were you fucking thinking? That’s a pussy name for a dog like this. You do realise he’s a boy, right?”

Her sweet mouth opens in shock and her pretty green eyes widen before narrowing into slits. “The dog that played Lassie in the movies was a boy too, you know,” she retorts, folding her arms over her chest. If she’s trying to look tough she’s failing miserably. Crossing her arms only manages to push her perky little tits up further. I feel my cock grow at the sight, and that pisses me the hell off. I hate how she’s having this effect on me.

Opening the trunk, I reach in to retrieve a box and place it in front of me. The last thing I want her to see is the damn hard-on she’s just given me.

“What’s your problem anyway?” she asks, her eyes meeting mine again. “You’re not exactly making a great first impression.”

I almost want to smile at her fucking attitude, but there’s no way in hell I’ll be giving her that satisfaction. “I don’t give a fuck what you think of me, kid. Why don’t you run along and go play with your dolls like a good little girl?”

I’m really struggling not to smile now as her eyes widen in disbelief at the way I’m speaking to her. When her lips open, forming a perfect little O, all I can think is she has the most fuckable mouth I’ve ever seen. That thought only makes my cock even harder.

Sweet Jesus, what is she doing to me?

I’m surprised I almost feel bad for the way I’m treating her, but riling her up is way too much fun. I’m not about to stop now.

“Well that’s just plain rude. Something pretty shitty must’ve happened in your life to give you such a bad attitude.” She hit the nail right on the head. It sure did I want to say, but I don’t. My brow furrows. Why does her saying that piss me off even more?

I hate that in less than a minute she has already seen through my facade. What is she, some kind of crazy clairvoyant or something? My eyes lock with hers again, and the sympathetic look I see on her face makes me dislike her even more.

“Nope. I’m just a bastard, and stop fucking looking at me like that. You’re creeping me the hell out.”

“Like what?” she huffs, placing her hands on her hips.

“Like you feel sorry for me. I don’t want or need your sympathy. The sooner you learn that the better off we’ll all be, Princess. Do yourself a favour kid, stay the fuck away from me.” She gasps at my words and a satisfied smile crosses my face.

Mission accomplished.

“Later, Larry,” I say to the dog, giving him one last scratch behind the ears before walking away.

“His name’s Lassie, arsehole,” she snaps to my retreating back.

“Not to me it isn’t,” I chuckle as I walk towards the house. “You won’t catch me calling him that pansy-arse name.” Maybe living here isn’t going to be as bad as I thought.

“Come on boy,” I hear her say, exhaling an exasperated breath.

As I walk up the porch stairs to my new hell, I hear her front door slam shut. Surprisingly, this makes the smile instantly drop from my face. I actually feel shitty for the way I just treated her. I don’t often feel remorseful for my actions.

Why am I such a bastard? That’s right, I was born one.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or used factitiously. Any resemblance to the actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Published in Australia and New Zealand in 2015
by Hachette Australia
(an imprint of Hachette Australia Pty Limited)
Level 17, 207 Kent Street, Sydney NSW 2000
www.hachette.com.au

Copyright © J. L. Perry 2015

This book is copyright. Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of private study, research, criticism or review permitted under the Copyright Act 1968, no part may be stored or reproduced by any process without prior written permission. Enquiries should be made to the publisher.

Cataloguing-in-Publication data is available from the National Library of Australia

ISBN: 9780733635816

Cover design by Soxational Cover Art.